The Clashing of Realities

August 19, 2002
    
      Dear Friend,

It has been years since we last spoke, but that is because of me and not because of you. We fought because there was friction between the way we saw things, and when two opposing forces collide, there is always damage dealt. In this case, it was our different perceptions of reality that crashed into each other. Though you were so convicted in your beliefs, our differences have caused us to fall out. But I would like to address this for one last time, for your sake. Like the way Stefan in "Spies" shattered his innocent thoughts of the past when looking back with hindsight and maturity, we learn to see the truth. You fall much harder when you stubbornly hold on to your opinion only, and when you finally realise that you have been wrong the whole time, the shame of defeat is much more painful than acknowledging your mistakes early.

There are many people in the world who are like Stefan. Age brings maturity, new insight and a clearer vision into the events of life as we get more exposed to reality. The more we understand about this world, the more and more reality seems to be harsh. That is how it is: we cannot sugarcoat facts with feigned or genuine innocence, and when we finally hear the verity of certain experiences, our naive or rather, ignorant world is shattered. The true events of the Close rattled Stephen greatly. No longer bound by the "restrictions of childhood", he discovered a world of "even darker tunnels and more elusive terrors." He realised the truth. He left his misunderstanding and deliberate ignorance to know that Uncle Peter is no hero, and what he deemed to be exciting - having a mother to be a German spy and a father to be a war veteran - turned out to be the ingredients of tragedy.

Now I know that not all of us witness such horrific events. However, we can still try to deny reality. When we do, all seems to be in order, the world at peace and there exists some sort of ethereal bliss. That in itself is the problem; it is not real. Suddenly reality will come and pierce like an arrow, sharpened by the strict consequence of our refusal to accept it, aching the heart or will even break us down. If you walk in the direction of the wind, it will propel you forward but should you choose to resist it, it may overcome you and blow you away. Let me explain it this way. You are trying to saw a piece of wood, but you are holding the saw incorrectly. Despite having someone tell you to hold it with the right grip, you persist in your foolish way and continue to saw at the piece of wood. The next time you are sawing down a branch, out of curiosity you try your friend's advised method; all of a sudden, the saw cuts through the branch with ease. There is no other emotion to feel than embarrassment. The whole time you have actually been struggling but you were too blind to notice. Your personally constructed reality where you are always right has turned upside down, and arrogance has turned to mortification. See, if you were able to learn from a friend's advice, you would have saved a lot of time and effort.

From this it seems, that when people try to cheat reality, they will inevitably find suffering. There are sections of reality that the majority of people believe - a consensus reality if you will. This is a reality that most of us acknowledge to be the correct view of reality. Things like; murder is evil, the abhorrence of those who disregard the law, and the seeking of justice to those who break the law. The law was created by what we as a society collectively agreed upon to be a basic moral degree. When things like religion give you additional moral guidance, it is no longer a shared reality but an individual one. If you have a debate on the validity of religion you may find dispute, but if you act in defiance of what we as human beings have established to be indisputably right, the punishment is much more severe. This is evident when Keith's mother has an affair with Uncle Peter, not only violating the sanctity of her marriage, but also the bonds of loyalty between family. This despicable act not only caused turmoil in her family, but also the fallout in her relationship between the now newly-widowed Aunt Dee.

My friend, I hope you do not see this as me attacking you, or cockily smothering you with my opinion. Contrariwise, it is out of my deepest concern for you. My father was a salesman. After incessantly chasing after money and having nothing but a reluctance to face reality his whole life, he met an inescapable fate that you would wish upon no one. He, driven to madness by his inability to recognise his failure, ended his life believing it would reconcile his failure as a father to provide. The clashing of his deluded opposition of reality and the merciless reality of the real world was just like the clashing of his car and the tree. You can try to compete against reality, but there will always be repercussions that follow.