Understanding Instead of Understanding

Sometimes I think it is better to understand that someone has a different understanding than to understand them. Imagine the typical case of a man not understanding his female partner. She is affected by him saying something to one of his friends, and she has taken offense. He fails to see why, after all, it's "just a joke, and you're taking it too seriously." Truth is, the girl's sensitivity and perception varies greatly to the man, her instinct turns to concern and care sometimes over the blunt joke. The man is confused; perhaps he should have tried harder to see it from his partner's point of view; he doesn't want to upset her. Problem is, he can't. He can't just alter his mindset to see things the way she does, just like the way no man will ever think the same as a woman, and vice versa. In retrospect, instead of trying to see why she would be so upset, he should understand that she has been perturbed by his joke.

His understanding that his partner and him have differing thoughts is a must. Opposing thoughts are inevitable and is what makes individuals unique and this world to be developed so intricately. Therefore, the man should just accept that he has upset his partner and choose to understand her response to his joke than why she has been affected. Of course we want to know why to avoid future problems, but we'll never know for sure.

Let me put this in a more childish but a extremely direct manner. It is like a woman who accidentally hits a man in his testicles. He is crippled in pain and she of course, is sorry. Instead of mocking him or saying child birth is worse, she consoles him and knows to not hit him there for it hurts him. She will never experience nor comprehend the pain of getting hit in the testicles just like a man would not feel the pain of childbirth. (I just thought of a funny joke to do with this, I'll add it in the end.) So now the woman knows to be careful, and she understands that the man has this issue and will not argue against it but rather help him.

We should aim to accept people for who they are. We cannot try to be them to know how they feel, for we are ourselves and they are themselves. So we are patient and tolerant towards their oddities and quirks for they will come to understand our own. We acknowledge people's fears, though they seem irrational to us, they exist for that person and we do not exploit those fears and keep it in heart to avoid exposing them to these things. If you understand that your partner is different to you, your friends are different to you, you will understand why they are so hard to understand and be accepting of how they respond to you.

Now the joke:

A man and his wife are in the hospital. The wife is in labour. The doctor conducting the delivery suggests to the couple, a newly invented piece of technology. To the couple he says: 'this machine will transfer the pain that the woman is feeling over to the biological father. Be warned though, the pain the woman feels is immense, so we recommend only transferring a portion of the pain.'

Seeing that his wife is under pressure, the man volunteers to take some of the pain for his wife. Starting at 10% the man smirks and says: "this doesn't hurt at all! You can increase the percentage."
So the doctor increases the percentage pain transfer to 20%. The husband signals to keep on increasing.
Soon enough, the husband is taking 100% of the pain, and the wife completes her delivery of her child painlessly. The wife is overjoyed. The man laughs: "women complain so much, but this is nothing!"

The happy couple return to their home with their child and they find the postman is dead on their doorstep.